


Haruhi

by catsaremyboyfriend



Series: Aisha/Jensen/Cougar Blows My Mind [3]
Category: The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Multi, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 02:17:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4373390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catsaremyboyfriend/pseuds/catsaremyboyfriend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So in the comics Cougar dies but that's DUMB SUPER DUMB OKAY so obvs my head canon is that he makes it out</p>
    </blockquote>





	Haruhi

**Author's Note:**

> So in the comics Cougar dies but that's DUMB SUPER DUMB OKAY so obvs my head canon is that he makes it out

Aisha sits staring straight ahead, watching the static on the TV screen. It blips and fuzzes, and it’s inside her head. Jensen’s not doing so good, he’s mostly been sleeping. She’s not doing well, either, but she’s better at compartmentalizing. 

_Cougar is dead_ , her brain is saying in every language she knows. Too many, right now. _Carlos is gone_. Jensen hasn’t talked since the bomb blast, since his voice went so strangled she knew something was wrong. _We left Cougar to die alone and didn’t even get the hat_ , her head reprimands.

She’s holding his bag in her lap, curled around it, her nose pressed to the familiar smell of leather and metal. Jensen’s spread eagle next to her, face worried even in his sleep. She touches his cheek. Cougar doesn’t have any family that she knows of, besides them. Well, no family he talks to. Talked to.

“Team is family,” he’d said to her once, eyes glittering fiercely under the hat. There’s no one to contact, no reason to ever leave this room. Max is dead. Pooch is with his family. Clay’s probably off chasing another windmill. 

She presses her face to Cougar’s bag again, inhales deep. His scent will fade with time, like her mother’s did, like Fadhil’s did. She can’t even remember their faces anymore. 

When Aisha was small, she used to have screaming tantrums, til her breath wouldn’t come. When her mother died, she learned they were useless, and stopped. Sometimes the tantrums come back, in their own way, but right now she’s frozen. Cougar is dead.

Jensen sniffles in his sleep and throws an arm over her legs. Something fierce is rising in her chest, more emotion than she usually lets herself feel. She tangles her fingers in his hair, thinking. She’s lost enough people.  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Two months later and they’re doing okay, she thinks. Or, at least, she hasn’t killed anyone yet and Jensen hasn’t killed himself. It’s all she can ask. They’re living in Puerto Rico, in a shack on the beach that Clay produced out of nowhere.

“A gift,” he’d said, his goodbye, an apology for Cougar’s death under his command, she thinks. Clay is all about guilt.

During the day Jensen does factory work, comes home and goes to sleep right away. She fleeces people, mostly, tries not to hit anyone who looks like they’re struggling. At night, the place where Cougar’s supposed to be is cold and she usually wakes up curled around Jensen. 

“I haven’t told Jen yet,” he says one morning, when they’re both slumped at the kitchen table. Aisha occasionally feels as if they’ll go on like this forever, day in and day out empty. She raises an eyebrow. “About Cougar. I haven’t told her about Cougar.” They never refer to him as dead. 

“It’s been a month,” she says, surprised. It’s not like Jensen to hide anything from his sister. Perro, who they took back after the bomb, raises his head, panting, settles back down with a doggy smile. 

“She always said Cougar was the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

“Not me, too?” Aisha asks, trying for levity. 

“No. She doesn’t like you cause you shot me,” he admits, smiling. She’ll take it. She’ll take anything that puts a smile on his face. “I. Ah. She keeps asking to see him, and sending hello’s, and I just, I can’t…”

He takes a deep, shuddering breath, exhaling as she slides into his lap. “Jensen. Jake.” 

“Aisha,” he whispers into her breasts, kissing them. They don’t talk anymore, there’s just sex, and they can’t go on like this forever, but right now it’s all they’ve got.  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
She wakes up to a man in the corner of their bed room, draws a gun on him before she recognizes the posture, the _hat_. Her choked noise is enough to wake Jensen, who scrambles out of bed reaching for the gun he never remembers. His hand finds the lamp instead, sends it smashing to the ground. 

Gripping her arm with strong fingers, he says, “Aisha, I’m having hallucinations. I’ve gone crazy like my mom did, I must be seeing things, because there’s no way the real Cougar would let us think he was dead for _two fucking months_.”

“Was in hospital,” Cougar murmurs, pinching his thumb and forefinger together. “Very small.” 

For the first time in her life Aisha doesn’t have a plan. Her mind is totally blank. Cougar tips his hat back, eying them, still so beautiful it makes her breath catch. She reads the tension around his mouth, the barely-there tapping of his foot, realizing he’s terrified.

“Carlos,” she breathes, finally rushing to get to him, feet tangled in the bedcovers. Her grace fails, leaving her stumbling into his arms. “ _Carlos_.”

Jensen follows right behind, a warm line along her back, pressing fast kisses to the side of Cougar’s face. “You rat fucking bastard,” Jensen’s muttering as Cougar kisses the top of Aisha’s head, then lifts his chin to kiss Jensen properly. 

“I love you, we love you,” she blurts, relief so strong it loosens her tongue. They tumble onto the bed in a tangle of legs, all the tension gone in a rush.

“M’sorry,” Cougar’s saying, his hat thrown aside, dark hair falling into his eyes. She takes Jensen’s hand, kisses Cougar, and everything will be alright.

“It’s okay. Everything will be okay,” Jensen says. And he’s right.


End file.
